Striking a balance between body, mind and soul is a task that is a daily practice for me. Before I made this a daily practice I remember waiting until I was falling down the emotional rabbit hole before I would begin the process and it felt like rolling a boulder up a hill. And I see many of us attempting to create balance when we are in crisis or so far out of balance that the task feels insurmountable. But balance as a daily practice is something quite achievable if we remember to take care of ourselves and create a dialogue with ourselves that is healthy and kind. When we speak to ourselves with harsh, demeaning and demanding words we diminish balance and create a feeling of failure. This feeling of failure can snowball into more dire feelings of depression and often a sense of wanting to end it all can haunt our minds. When we become our own worst enemies we often end up hurting those that we love the most and in the extreme end their lives and our own as I have witnessed twice within this month in my home town of Santa Ynez. This tragedy is often preventable but it takes a commitment to ourselves of daily balance in how we speak and treat ourselves internally. The Dalai Lama often says that his religion is loving kindness and he will also refer to being this way with ourselves as the first step in being able to extend this to others. How can we begin a practice of loving kindness with ourselves? And then how do we extend this to others? I recently read a quote by Marianne Williamson who said “Living a meaningful life is not a popularity contest. If what you’re saying is always getting applause, you’re probably not yet doing the right stuff.” So when we are honest with ourselves and with others we can do so with loving kindness. This is not sugar coating things to the extent that our words become ineffective. Quite the opposite is a more appropriate position. So when we are stating our truth with out blame but owning our feelings and stepping back into self care we create a space to have resolution step into the situation. It is when we deny our feelings and say nothing to others about how their actions have affected us that we deny the very path to loving kindness. I recently had a bout of denial and unsaid words that lead to a departure and sadness with someone with whom I was close. The longer the unsaid words and feelings continued the situation escalated and could have ruined a friendship but due to the outstanding person that she is we are continuing our dialogue with very clear words about our feelings. This has lead to resolution and time will heal this friendship and I have learned a great lesson to trust myself and others with serious feelings of sadness that resulted from how I received another's actions. So out of this I learned to have patience with my sensitivity and although I was told for much of my life that I was too sensitive and my default when I am feeling sad is to deny the feelings and move forward without taking a closer look I now realize that I must tend to the feelings everyday by checking in with myself and how I am feeling in that moment. Pema Chodron wrote a book called Start Where You Are and I often will use the process of accepting where I am and looking at how to return to the balance of peace and love. And yet here was a situation where I was caught up in the denial of my very deep feelings. This is the key to understanding balance in our lives. What is the feeling or feelings you have in this moment that are defining your day? Are you angry, sad, confused, deeply exhausted etc. Or are you happy, joyful, full of gratitude? The work is not to be happy all the time but to be real. What is real for you is not the same as what is real to me. Find your reality whatever that may be. And in all things be kind to yourself and love yourself. You are a child of the Ultimate Creative Force in the Universe and this energy did not make a mistake creating you and your beautiful soul. If you feel pain then put your hand over the pain and acknowledge that it is there. Then receive by asking for help!! Do not hesitate, run to the one that you feel will listen and help. And if there isn't a physical someone then remember the non-physical spirits all around us everyday that watch over us and protect us if we just ask. Arch-angel Michael is here to present you with the sword that will help you to feel victory over your demons. He is strong and steadfast and will never let harm come to you if only you ask for his assistance. As we continue to move into the dark time of the year reach for the light within you and ask for the light to be strong and bright to diminish the shadows that haunt you and illuminate your true self a bright shining soul for the world to witness. As we mourn the loss of those we love remember they left a piece of light from their soul as a gift that you will carry in your heart for the rest of your days. Shine it brightly for them to see from the other side. We can create balance out of the chaos of our lives if only we remember it is a daily task of loving ourselves and listening to our hearts. No one is beyond help and too far gone. We are all worth the effort to create a happier more light filled life. And when Spring comes we can emerge from the chrysalis of winter into the world as a beautiful new butterfly.
This post is dedicated to Gregg and Kimberly Hamilton and to Lori Wolf and Maxwell Pappas may they find peace, light and love.
My mission is to help people become more in tune with their own Soul Spirit plus Spirit Teachers and Angelic Guides resulting in clarity and awareness of the Divine that lives within!