Times they are a changin'.

How does it happen that all of a sudden your kids are no longer kids?  I turned around and my James has turned into a man over night and has moved out of state to start a new chapter in his book of life.  I swear we were just putting out Halloween decorations and getting ready for our annual Harvest party; some of you remember these events with apple bobbing and pumpkin carving and donuts on a string.  This time of year was always spent decorating the house in a spooky style and reading oh so many fun books, John Pig's Halloween, Too Many Pumpkins and the Little Old Lady Who Wasn't Afraid of Anything.  I remember helping him make so many costumes.  His very 1st was a clown outfit I made out of two different types of taffeta (it was a thing of beauty) then a little ghost, snake charmer, cowboy, wizard(of course) and Link among some of my favorites. It seems the years have been a movie on fast forward. I remember so many many hours spent reading the Harry Potter series not to mention watching the movies the minute they came out! And so many other amazing moments spent in other book worlds with dragons and curses.  And when he was really little looking for the fay people in the wooded backyard of an East coast home. This time also included a wonderful Waldorf kindergarten with home baked bread, tons of  imaginative play, sweet songs and puppet shows.  Fast forward to being a single mom back in California we found a Nature school that was an amazing place for James to explore a different connection to nature through the eyes of two amazing men who were mentors I know James will never forget.  And out of that Nature School he grew up with a tribe of boys who are now his closest friends and will always be his family of choosing.  Each of them are on a similar journey and yet will always check in with each other as family.  Oh so many years of wonderful and exhausting fun!  We spent many summers in the water up in Paradise with my dad exploring the never ending supply of rocks.  James enjoyed trips to Big Sur with our friends when I had to work.  And I remember one great trip to Grass Valley with James that I will never forget or the amazing gelato. We explored local beauty the Yuma river and even the dusty insides of an army surplus/thrift store.  We were like explorers together where ever we went!

The past 7 years I have watched my son grow up from  boy to boy/man to man and I have seen him struggle, succeed, find a path, go down a rabbit hole and come out again and finally return to the place where he could learn skills from a great friend and mentor, Uncle Heiko.  This is a man that taught James to ride a bike and as of late taught James to drive a combine and various other large work vehicles!  His time building fences and preparing fields out at the ranch was the perfect metaphor for what he was planting which was seeds for this future which has arrived.  He has flown off with strong wings, thrown off the sails and left the safe harbor.  I miss him terribly as James is not just my son, he is a confidante not afraid to tell me the truth in that special way only a Sagittarius can; he is a great yard work partner, Marvel movie companion (and I remember getting a call from the movie theatre telling me that his friends needed an adult over 21 to watch Deadpool, and James was 19, so yes I drove down and watched Deadpool with 5 boys!) and Stranger Things would not have been the same without  him and laughing at all the memories that came up watching this '80's era show. We even made a foray into Twin Peaks and X-Files for awhile and we will never be the same after enjoying the epic novel Dune and talking about the story line and amazing characters. And now things will be a bit more quiet.....a bit more empty and I am a bit sad.  He has become an amazing human and I am really proud of him.   He came in with that smile that could melt the strongest iceberg and an imagination that surpassed his  favorite toy company Lego which he spent oh so many hours building after birthdays and Christmas's by the fire studying the build manual as he made these huge projects come to life.  I know he will take the same care and careful attention to the building of his life.  He will always be that little Buddha baby smiling up at me and taking me on adventures with such abandon and joy!  Here's to you my James, embrace your life with your beautiful and amazing mind and don't be afraid to get your 'flail' on sometimes just for the sheer fun of enjoying life.  You are so loved and your home is always in my heart.  And where ever I am is also your home whenever you have need of it!  The world is better place because you are in it!  And my life would not have even come close to being as wonderful and amazing if you were not in it too.  Take such good care of you!

So much love,
Mom