The Tower card in the Tarot deck is the card of destruction or de-construction and the dis-mantling of what we have become comfortable with in our lives.  When the winds begin to blow and the darkness descends all we can do is run for shelter and wait out the storm.  Sometimes we lash out at others and create more pain than is necessary and we become the victims of our own process. But if we can acknowledge that we are feeling the pain and suffering in our lives that has been hidden until a catalyst started a chain reaction of dominoes falling that we carefully set up to cover up the most painful moments in our lives, we can find the strength to endure the shifting sands and the lightening burning through the darkness to illuminate what hides in the shadows. Sometimes the pain is so blinding that we feel as if the transformation is too much and we will not survive it and perhaps in other lifetimes we didn't. So what are some ways to comfort ourselves while this process is battering us around as we float in the tiny skiff that is our life being forced up 30 ft. waves only to plummet down the other side of it.  My friends for me I am doing exactly what I do best when times are hard and when times are beautiful.....I write.  I also make sure I head outside and dig in the dirt and plant something and water it, a metaphor for bringing new life into the soon to be ashes of my current situation. Then eating really well or not eating but juicing and lots of water....getting to the beach and watching the waves move back and forth crashing on the shore in its rhythmic dance is a way to feel like life is moving just like before we are the ones internally who are falling apart and that's ok!!  When we can let go of all those ideas, feelings, and perceptions that we no longer need and that serve only to hold us back from the life that is waiting for us.....the life we have been carefully avoiding with our strategically constructed dominoes will fall away and sunshine will flood into a beautiful new life.  So now we can embrace this new life the that is a better representation of who we are in this moment and not the past.  Ahhhhhh the pain of birthing a new life is a labor of the heart and when our life is born to us we will fall in love with it immediately and become immersed in it's unique beauty. This precious incarnation of ourselves in new skin with new thoughts and feelings will expand us in ways we never thought possible or even necessary and will also transport us to new dimensions of understanding.  This storm of transformation has passed, like all storms do, will leave us empty, claim the void, don't immediately fill it with unnecessary random things let it be for awhile.  Then when it feels right fill it only with that which serves you now and in this moment. This amazing gift of transformation is something that comes without warning and stays just long enough to leave us raw and exposed but completely transformed.  Embracing the change and loving yourself through it is the only way. So take care of yourself and fall in love once more with the life that you have been given when it is all over.  I am rooting for you to rise your head above the water that is threatening to drown you. Let the thoughts of death and destruction bring you to a new depth of strength you didn't even know you had within you, pull yourself up and through the water of emotional turmoil and when the waves have slowed down float awhile and bring in gratitude for the new you!! Then the Tower will have done it's job and we can begin the process of re-building our lives with a stronger foundation.  I am with you and feel the beauty that is occurring in your lives!!!

Many Blessings,
​AnnKathleen

When it comes to balance in matters of the heart I often look to nature to provide the best example.  The perfection of dimension and the timing of unfolding to this Virgo rising is "mettre au point".  Nature does not think about how to create itself it allows the process to unfold. Flowers do not contemplate which petal to uncurl first or which leaf to shake loose from the bud. So why is that we can not learn the timing of things or the complexity of the many pieces of our lives in connection to the world and each other?? How can we remove the meddling mind and move to the natural state of being which is love.  I recently closed the door on a hurtful situation which I tried unsuccessfully to fix with my sorely lacking communication.  I did not even see the hurt that might be a result of my disclosures as my analytical brain was concerned with facts and the feelings expressed that were a result of one side of the facts, the side that was mine.  My mind failed to see the other side of the picture and as a result more hurt was incurred. Heavy Sigh......the lack of perfection in thinking ones way through a situation.  Add in a heavy dose of hormones and a molotov cocktail was unleashed on the unsuspecting individuals....another deep sigh.  Seeing the analytical side of things increased the likelihood of more misunderstanding from the other point of view and doors closed and feelings were hurt, mine, theirs and the Universe felt the disconnection as well.  When ever we see only our hurt and wait to say something and allow it to build then let it fly into the face of the unsuspecting souls the end result is not the best.  However getting back to the nature metaphor it occurs to me that when Volcanos erupt it is not all that safe or lacking in chaos.  In fact the result is sometimes devastating to buildings and people die in the process along with the landscape being changed in a profound way for the rest of time.  Hmmm so do we also have a similarity in creating either the perfection in our lives or creating the chaos??  Answering this renders the rhetoric mute but the compulsion is too strong and I would have to say yes!! Ah ha!!  So the question is not whether we are able the question is do we choose.? And looking back on many instances in my life I chose chaos and righteousness, not in the maniacal I-will-take-over-the-world righteousness but the blinded I-can't-see-the-forest-for-the-trees kind of righteousness. The righteousness that is run by my emotions and feelings the wild and injured animal who is fighting for it's life. Which begs the question when I am hurt why do I feel that the alone and injured feelings will kill me?? The desperate feeling where I think that I will not survive the process so I must strike before they do feeling.  Hmmm survival is the key here.....now bear with me as I traverse this unknown territory within my inner landscape.  Survival must be the force with which I remain at the mercy of possibly from other lifetimes not so great endings.  You know, all those times when we were burned at the stake or rack or left to die in the snow only to forget and return in a brand new body with the feeling "Hmmm I think I have been here before???" And when any feeling of being left alone or abandoned comes up the sense of survival shouts "it's us or them baby"!!! So this is fascinating to me the idea of nature and human 'nature' not really being all that different.  So looking to nature and seeing the result of the perfection and the destruction we have only to decide which part to emulate. And maybe just maybe the destruction is part of an important process too.  The part where we stand up and shout that we are feeling a truth come on and everybody might want to take shelter!!  And the most important part after the destruction is the rising of the Spring flowers after the proverbial cold, dark weeks of winter.  Maybe after a storm of feelings has washed away the hidden parts of ourselves and people see us as the human beings doing the best we can, the flower of a renewed friendship can grow based on real truths that run deep roots into the soil not a shallow plant that withers and dies at the first sign of difficulty.  Maybe when we feel and share our deepest darkest selves to each other it is a gift and should be opened carefully and with reverence not left unopened at the doorstep to be exposed to the elements where the edges will get frayed and ripped eventually covered in cob webs. But if we have faith in people maybe someday they will open the gift to see that they have been given a rare gem of our hearts. This gem while it may appear rough and unrefined is the deep place that only those we trust the most are allowed to see. So if someone has sent you a gift of exposing their hearts and souls and the pain that may live there.  Be brave and look at what the gift is not what you did to help create the current situation that exposed the gift but see what it is they are showing you about themselves and what has always been there that they did not want anyone else to see but you. Then lift them up with your strength and love and see what grows from that place.  See what beautiful flowers of the soul are nurtured in both of you.  

Heres to the love that is hardest to reach and yet the sweetest to experience!!

My love to all of you and may your hearts always be brave enough to say in the words of John Mayer "what you need to say" and to trust that all will be well in the end.

Many Blessings,
AnnKathleen