Beauty in difficulty....

                The photo I chose today is an ice sculpture by Andrew Goldsworthy.  He is an amazing naturalist and artist who creates unique beauty from raw nature.  His work inspires and awes me with it's simplicity and complexity.  If you think that to make an arch from icicles is remotely easy try it sometime without getting frost bite!!  He takes the harsh and unrelenting aspects of nature and forces it to bend to his vision of artistic presentation.  This to me is so much like life.  Sometimes the harshest circumstances create in us aspects of ourselves that can become beautiful and strong in a completely new way.  I notice in myself resistance when my life gets difficult and complex.  I see the darkness creep in on silent feet and take hold of my heart.  I lose my sunny perspective and feel the cold and harsh sense of deep sadness or fear or hopelessness.  When this happens the world becomes grey and colorless and unrelenting in it's pursuit of my unhappiness.  When this is happening I often immerse myself in the practice of resistance and begin to show signs of escapism through different forms.  Sometimes a break is good but when we are not becoming part of the pain and acknowledging the very large white and heavy elephant in the room we have succumbed to the reality that the pain is insurmountable.  So is it??  I ask this question because I think it is the very best question to ask when feeling this way.  Is it insurmountable or do we just think in our minds that things can not change??  When we are genuinely interested in the answer and are thinking that perhaps the worst is true, if we could just breathe and wait for the answer to surface in it's right time we would find that the answer is always that the human spirit is stronger than we will ever realize.  That strength is a combination of our spirit and the unseen spirits who watch over us and the good will and caring of those around us. In other words the most frightening of the realities that float like decaying scum in our minds is that no one cares and we are alone.  When we see that this is not true that we have the help of so many and the love of so many the proverbial corner is in sight and we can begin the journey towards the light. And when we ask for help and open ourselves to the possibility that all will be well, if we let go of the pain and anger from those circumstances that bring us to our knees we will find our way home to that warmth and love that never left us but was lost to our vision for a time.  Is it easy to come to the place of receiving and acceptance?  For me it is not an easy process and I have to have the strength to reach out and feel worthy of help and love.  Worthiness is my vice and my achilles heel.  So knowing is always half the battle, and in this knowledge the reaching out and not isolating or giving myself the permission to exercise distance and then ultimately forming in my mind what I need and create the pathway to feeling worthy of this assistance is the journey towards the light for me.  Am I still afraid of the dark like when I was a child?  Yes often!!  Does this make me weak and vulnerable?  Perhaps and yet maybe it makes me more human and strengthens my resolve to shine my light for those who need it most, those who are bereft in their lives.  The human ships sailing adrift on a sea of  self inflicted pain and suffering will see a light house shining brightly for them to steer into the port of their own hearts to find the love that never left them but was hidden by the sadness and grief.  I will bring them the warmth of hearth and home within themselves.  And in this I will also find the warmth of love that lies within my own heart and find the true joy of peace and practice letting go of the idea that my life will always have a deep level of sadness and darkness, that the light will not find the inner recesses where I need it most.  With the hope found in others hearts and my own together we can create amazing inner sculptures of immense beauty and share these creations with those who are also needing the hope and love of community and solace in feeling our lives matter to others and to ourselves.  This is the way of healing.  May all of you feel the light and love I have for you in your pain and in your joy, in whatever you are feeling today!!  I send all of you the power to change your minds and the strength to change your lives!!  YOU are the way to happiness!! Finding your way through the forrest of your minds and hearts will bring you to the clearing where the river of emotion runs clear and strong and the light shines brightly through the many colored leaves bringing you magic and the ability to alchemically alter your very existence on the planet.  And don't forget to wave the wand of good fortune on those around you.  When we all come together to help each other the road home is a happy one.  And that is all we are really here to do on this planet, as Krishna Das says "we are all just walking each other home".  So take my hand and walk with me into the light of love and peace!!

Many blessings on this Soul filled Sunday!!

AnnKathleen