Rain, rain do not go away we need you so much today and tomorrow and the next day too!! Feeling like the energy has finally shifted just when I was thinking that I would etherically die of thirst......my soul has been longing for something that has been gone since I can't remember when. The feeling of joy and connection with an amazing soul was the very nectar of life and I felt that they understood me on the deepest of levels and yet they have slowly turned away from me. Maybe it was one of those soul contracts where I was to learn my own value through the heartache of being on my own while the other soul traversed their own life and I had to watch on the sidelines waiting for a time that would not come......a time I wanted to manifest where we would shoulder the burdens of life together and be a team. But some people are lone wolves and I am wired to be part of a pack and I still will seek that elusive life long mate that until now has been out of reach. I know what I want and am allowing it perhaps to find me...... But for now the rain is washing away my feelings of sorrow and despair at being left behind while standing in the rain watching someone walk away.
How many times do we allow someone to exit our lives before we say enough already? There are those souls that seem to be like the best addiction to our souls and they come and then go and the soul with-drawl is like the emotional equivalent of the opium addict. Why do we allow them access to our deepest selves only to watch them slowly and painfully withdraw? Even when they open their souls the widest only to close it and push you away. These soul lessons are my burden this lifetime and if you experience this too please know that the sun will shine on you again!!! As I look at the sun shining in my backyard I am trusting the angel guardians of my soul that they will not allow me to be pushed beyond the breaking point but I will walk right up to the edge of the cliff, contemplate jumping, but then finally and stubbornly release the burden of lifetimes of pain and watch the wind carry it away to be turned into something beautiful and free. What we all want is to experience love and to give love that is all......but some souls do not see this as the truth they think that the daily life, keeping the lights on and working 18 hr. days will keep them from the death that awaits them someday and the realization that connection was what was most important.....that love is all we have in this life to learn and every life since the beginning of time. "Love is the answer to all of the questions in my heart" Jack Johnson gets it and I feel this acutely. So how do we let go of those who are supposed to be in our pack that decide they would rather be alone? We let them go.....we love them and let them leave.....we wish them all the best in their lives and keep our hearts open and send them love anyway. So as I experience the dark night of the soul through it all I continue to love because that is all there is......unless we like Luke Skywalker are temped to give in to hate and anger and the dark side.......But I for one will not let the death of Obi-Wan Kenobi be in vain. So knowing that the love is inside of me and that the reflection is gone not the actual love I know I will be alright. But those reflections are so strong as to appear as the real thing. Mirrors are tricky that way. Especially when they physically touch you and it feels like you are home. To feel home in the embrace of someone who walks away feels like the heart is being ripped from the body, it tries to stay connected and the cord of attachment stretches until the emotional pain is unbearable and releasing is the only choice or insanity becomes the next phase of life. Then the pain of absence that dull, aching old pain that says you are nothing without the reflection, must be endured and that is the place where the soul fights for it's life to wildly punch into the air where the voices of doubt and condemnation scream their taunting's. This is where the crazy starts and the soul must look to the light for relief and help. The love that lives in all of us must be recognized and felt for ourselves.......even when we lose the battle of having our home walk away. So as the rain starts to fall again the tears follow suit washing away the pain and the healing of the soul begins. And as the loss is felt and sadness matches the clouds in the sky we must hope that the soul that walked away, our home away from ourselves, sees the truth and returns someday to tell you they understand now what the value of your love is to them and bring you into that embrace and the return of the home you have always yearned to return to, the shelter of their hearts and as you draw them into the shelter of your own heart you let them see the love that never left but was simply in a beautiful box within your own heart longing to be opened. For hope springs eternal and love is always the answer so we are always protected even when we feel that all is dark and despair will never end.........the angels know the truth and now so do you!! So when the pain seems too much to bear and the rain of your soul pours look for the rainbow it is always there you just have to look for it......
To the love and to the pain. May we all keep moving forward towards the light and the truth. The darkness will yield to the light it always does!! Sending you all love, feel the truth within you........
My mission is to help people become more in tune with their own Soul Spirit plus Spirit Teachers and Angelic Guides resulting in clarity and awareness of the Divine that lives within!