Flowing like a river in summer.....

"I feel good today" is the song playing by Thomas Rhett as I write this sentence and it actually expresses perfectly how I feel in this moment.....life has become a flowing river and I am so content. The metaphorical sunshine is warming my face and body and the warmth has penetrated my mind and heart.  Love has become a state of being and the hope that I had has become a sense of reality and the ease with which I am flowing through life is unbelievable!  And the wise words of Yoda echo through my mind as Luke said " I can't believe it" and Yoda replies "And that is why you fail" but somewhere along the line I choose belief instead of doubt, choose love instead of fear, stood on my own two feet and faced the greatest of choices being happy or being sad.  Sometimes we do not see the choice and it looks like a situation we can not surmount or a mountain too tall to climb but perception is the biggest cliff we must jump off of to see clearly our situation.  Jumping off that cliff for me was taking a trip to Seattle and I am so glad I overcame my fear and "Just did it" as the shoe company recommends!!  What waited for me in that watery and amazing city was a miracle of connection, a level of fun full of smiling clouds which rained down the joy my heart was waiting for.  Now I know what people mean when they say love is easy when you are with the right person. It is NOT perfect, definitely a challenge to the ego and the smaller self but when I chose to be an adult and stood still I found the most amazing moment of simplicity where acceptance of myself and the other person became the most important truth I have ever experienced.  Freedom and letting go became easy.  I was more interested in being close instead of being right.  Touching the heart of things instead of micro-managing the moment into a neat and organized fashion. This way of relating was messy and visceral and scary but real and poignant and beautiful.  I now find myself feeling peaceful although I miss seeing his face everyday now that we are in cities which are so far away.  I realize that what is inside of me is what I have always looked for outside of myself.  So when a romantic reflection came along I saw it as outside of myself and when it was gone I was sad and distraught.  Now I see the truth of how beautiful his reflection is as a unique and beautiful expression of that which lives in me.  I am never away from the feeling of connection with him now.  He is always with me because I am the love I have been looking for my whole life.  And he is that reflection.  I see how amazing the right connection is now.  I am so blessed to know him in my life and experience his unique emanation of the Divine.  The yang to my yin, god to my goddess......and yet I am no longer looking for completion from outside myself I see us both as whole and complete, NOT perfect but we are perfectly imperfect and a beautiful combination of strength, vulnerability, stamina, wisdom, beauty, fun and a healthy expression of the love that lives in both of us.  I am so grateful to this amazing man that has been so generous and thoughtful to bring to me the greatest gift of his time and energy and the most wonderful trip I have ever had!! Thank you for the celebration of my birthday with the awesome trip to Seattle that I will never forget.  YOU had me at airport when you said "Ann?" I am looking forward to more fun and smiles and reflections of who you are and who I am with you!!

Much love to you Andrew:)